Are the words you choose holding you back?
This week I invite you to pay close attention to how you speak, the words you choose and to where in your speech patterns you are making yourself small. Identifying and changing even one of these habits can have a powerful effect. Start by doing one thing differently this week, make one new choice-the world won´t stop spinning on its axis and you will feel an internal shift that is powerful.
Sorry-the redundant apology.
Here are some examples of sorries that need to be ditched right away
Sorry + Complaint
If you are paying for goods or services and you are not getting what you paid for you are not the one who needs to apologise. You don´t have to be rude, but omitting the sorry gives your complaint more weight.
Compare ¨Sorry, there appears to be a mistake in the bill.¨and ¨There appears to be a mistake in the bill.¨ both polite, both respectful but the latter definitely packs more of a punch.
Sorry + Opinion
You do not need to apologise for having a different view point. The next time you catch yourself saying sorry before giving your opinion cut it out, go straight to the I disagree and state your opinion, you have a right to it.
Sorry + Excuse
You´ve been invited to do something or go somewhere and there are a myriad of reasons why it´s not going to happen- you don´t want to, you have other plans, you would rather chew off your own foot than attend another kids birthday party, whatever. You do not need to apologise for declining an invitation, again you have the right to choose how to spend your time and you say pass without having to sound (and by default feel) like you’re doing something wrong. Next time try “Thank you for the invite, maybe next time” No apology, no excuse.
Just – just nothing!
I can´t, I have to, I must
Look at the difference between the two possible answers below, read them out loud, unless you´re in a public place and reading out loud would put your sanity in question.
“Fancy a drink Friday evening after work?”
” I´d love to but I cant, I have to look after my mother this weekend -it´s my turn and there is no one else to do it”
or
“I´m looking after my mother this weekend, she´s elderly and when it´s my turn I like to be fresh and give her my full attention. Another time? ”
Both convey the same meaning, did you notice any difference when you read them out loud? When we operate from a position of choice rather than obligation it feels lighter, more powerful. Where can you turn a I have to into a I choose to?
This week I invite you to pay close attention to how you speak, the words you choose and to where in your speech patterns you are making yourself small. See which choices make you feel lighter and freer and which one´s feel heavy and full of obligation. Identifying and changing even one of these habits can have a powerful effect. Start by doing one thing differently this week, make one new choice-the world won´t stop spinning on its axis and you will feel an internal shift that is powerful.
Share your experiences or voice your opinions(with no apology) in the comments.